Title: Scene V: Fantasies Rating: PG Author: MarshAngel E-mail: watsonma@hotmail.com Web page: http://www.crosswinds.net/~marshangel/angelmoon.htm For my best friend who believes in everyone and everything but never herself. I can't pinpoint the exact day I stopped believing, not in God but in fantasy and magic, and in romance. Maybe I'm a cynic but I think almost all of us stop believing in these things at some point, some earlier than others. Then again maybe that's not true. Maybe I never believed. Yes, that does sound more correct. I don't think I ever believed in those things. What I had instead was hope, a hope that gradually died without the necessary evidence to feed its hungry desire. Even as a young child, I never believed in magic. I used to wish with all my heart that there were fairies, elves, gnomes, and happy little sprites. I read dozens of stories involving magic and mystery, from Cinderella to the latest Enid Blyton fairy story. When I got older and graduated to romance novels, I used to dream that some tall, dark, handsome, arrogant man would walk into my life determined to make me his. In my heart I knew it would never happen but one could hope right? I gave up hope after much observation. I watched couples fight over pointless things. In my dream world fantasies real life things like money and the little details of relationships never intruded. In my fantasy everyone except really mean people I didn't like had that one person in the world that was truly meant for them. In the real world, in which I was forced to exist, people settled. I'm afraid I must go off on a rant now because it is important that you understand just how different my world was from the one I actually had to live in. In college my roommate from freshman year proclaimed herself a lesbian. Ironically she never had a girlfriend. She did however; seem to have a harem of guys she rotated as boyfriends whose sexual peculiarities I had the great misfortune of having to hear about. I had slightly better luck with my next roommate who once returned after a two-day disappearance to tell me she had gotten drunk and done things with a guy whose name she didn't know. The night was followed by a trip to Planned Parenthood and a day of misery dealing with the side effects of the Morning After pill. That, my friends, is the real world with real people doing things that in the grand scheme of things were perfectly 'normal'. Those things never once came into play in my fantasies. In my world, only people in love 'made love' and they married, had children, and lived happily ever after. Please don't laugh! I understand perfectly the cynicism with which you are no doubt viewing my description of my dreams. I understand because even I am capable of seeing that these ideals of mine are nothing but the delusional dreams of a young woman whose life is so empty and who is frustrated with the chaotic realities of the world that she creates a world in which nothing goes wrong, romance is in full bloom, and relationships are an effortless endeavor. It is at this point in my life you come to know me. I am Serena, the dreamer. I am a junior in college, of legal drinking age, with a group of friends whom while perfectly sane, barely understand me. All except for one really. Mina, my best friend in the entire world, dreams right along with me. We both seem to share a brain most of the time. At some point in our long friendship we drew each other into a world only the two of us seemed to know exist. Together we shared the fantasies of beautiful men waiting for the right women to love, which, by coincidence, would naturally be us. Personally, and don't tell Mina I said so; I think she has a better chance of finding the right man than I do. For crying out loud I didn't even know any guys! She knew a good dozen, none that she would even consider, but at least she was aware of their existence. I, on the other hand, lived in this vacuum where men were just those people in pants you saw in your Art History class. Occasionally they spoke and I discovered that they had deep voices but they still, however, remained as mysterious as Stonehenge. So, just when I was convinced that I was going to spend the rest of my life in an impeccably decorated high-rise apartment with three cats, a coffee addiction, bitter and alone, providing I ever graduated college, Mina burst into our dorm room all out of breath with her blonde hair flying everywhere. She looked like a hyperactive fuzzy elf. "I just met your soul mate!" She screeched in a high-pitched voice that had me wincing. She sounded…well she sounded like me after a coffee half-filled with sugar. I didn't even give the slightest bit of credence to her statement. She must have just read the latest Catherine Coulter novel. "Really?" I asked nonchalantly. "Serena didn't you just hear me?" She questioned as though she seriously expected me to believe that crap. "Oh come on Mina, you seriously don't expect me to believe you met my soul mate. We don't believe in that stuff, or did you forget? One Jude Deveraux novel and you go over the edge." I shook my head and went back to staring at my computer. "Anyway," I added, "if he's my soul mate, how would you know?" "You know Serena, you take cynicism to a whole new level." I raised an eyebrow at that comment. "Look who's talking? Weren't you the one who told me that all men are evil and should be shot just this morning?" "Well that was before I met Raye at the café after class today." "Well, if we're going to be indulging in this fantasy of yours," I began, feeling a story coming, "you may as well tell me everything and don't leave anything out. He'd better be gorgeous too!" "That's the understatement of the century!" She squealed. "If I weren't so sure he was your soul mate, I would want him for myself." "Well, go on!" I snapped, getting excited. Even though I doubted this would get either of us anywhere, I was more than willing to indulge in a fantasy. It was, after all, the mainstay of my existence. "Ok, as I was saying, The Bitch (a friendly name for our dear friend Raye) called me on my cell phone and demanded that I meet her for lunch at the new Café they just opened off Third Street," Mina began. It was just like Raye to demand things like that; it is that special part of her personality that makes her loveable to us. No matter how obnoxious she is; she is still out Raye. "So there we were sitting around chit-chatting. Raye kept going on and on about this guy Calvin she's head over heels for. He has a girlfriend and no clue. I was trying to pay attention and I kept zoning out, which you know annoys her to no end, so of course we spend the next five minutes yelling at each other and embarrassing ourselves…" "Just get to the point already Mina! The guy!" I yelled. Mina has this unbelievable ability to make a story so long that no matter how interesting she makes it, and it often is, you just want to scream after a while from the suspense of it all, and I usually do. "Ok, ok already! Keep your pants on, I'm getting there!" I sighed and smiled in encouragement. "Anyway, it was like it was in slow motion or something. One moment I was sitting there trying to prove to Raye that I was listening to her and this guy walks in through the front door. I swear my mouth almost fell open!" "What did he look like?" I questioned hurriedly, getting into the spirit of a moment recaptured. "He was so gorgeous! He was a little over six feet; I know how you like tall men." She smiled at me. "He had jet black hair that was just perfect and blue eyes like I've never seen before. You know how most people have blue eyes that are sort of pale and bland?" I nodded. "Well his are nothing like that. They were the deepest, darkest blue I have ever seen and his lashes were so long. I would describe his face but that would be too hard so you'll just have to settle for gorgeous, drop dead gorgeous, model gorgeous, perfect!" "Are you sure you don't want him for yourself?" I asked. Her description was sending my imagination off on a trip I'd rather not take. It would hurt too much. It was best I focus on finding an apartment that allowed pets, a good job, and rescuing a nice little kitten. "He's all yours trust me!" Mina said excitedly. "And exactly how did you come by that decision?" I asked. "Well, when he passed by me, his hand brushed my arm. He was wearing the most gorgeous wool coat, Serena. It was jet black and full length like Keanu Reeves in The Matrix only cooler and he was wearing a suit, an Armani suit!" I sighed. Fashion majors! "Well, he just said 'sorry' in the deepest voice and smiled and I just knew! I can't really explain it. There was just something about the way he said it and his voice that just made me say: this is the man for Serena." She looked at me and we both sighed together knowing that the chances of my meeting this guy and actually having him fall head over heels with me was practically nil but the fantasy she had given me was well worth it. Weeks later I was sitting in the same café with Mina and Raye. Neither of us had seen that guy ever again and Raye thought we were both nuts for even thinking about it although she seemed equally interested in seeing him again as well. It was strange, and I didn't mention it to anyone because of its oddity, but I was seriously curious about this guy. I desperately wanted to meet this supposed soul mate of mine. I should have forgotten the whole thing all together but for whatever reason, maybe loneliness and longing, I held on to that story Mina had told me. Raye was going on and on about Calvin again and quite frankly it wasn't a story I wanted to hear again. I excused myself to get a cup of coffee to replace the water I had been drinking. I went up to the counter and ordered the latte grande I had been craving and waited patiently for them to put it together. Coffee in hand, I turned around to return to the table. The lid was half off because, as was usual for me; I would need to dump at least eight packets of sugar in before I could drink it. As I swung around, coffee in hand, I bumped right into the person directly behind me, and the hot coffee spilled over us both. My "gravitational impairment" also known as Serena's klutziness had won once more. I began my hurried apologies, something I was actually quite used to, wiping at the man's black coat hurriedly with the napkin in my hand, trying my best to clean up the mess I'd caused. He reached his hand up to take the napkin from me, to do the cleaning himself rather than be further subjected to my useless attempts, and his hand brushed against my own. "It's okay," he began to say in his deep voice but never finished his sentence as his hand came into contact with my own. It was like an electric shock. I suddenly looked up into what had to be the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen. He was unbelievable and in an instant I knew this was the one. It was quite a long time before I grew embarrassed at staring at him with my mouth open as though I were hoping to catch flies. "I'm sorry," I whispered realizing for the first time that my hands were still held within his own, if somewhat tighter than before. I still couldn't draw my eyes away from his face and he seemed to be staring at me equally intent. "It's okay," he repeated, not for an instant taking his eyes of my face. There was something happening here, something I couldn't begin to explain. And to think a few days ago I would have sworn to be an expert on romantic moments, having studied the literature so well. Still, nothing had prepared me for the electricity, the intense attraction, the need to be close. I could feel myself drawing even closer to him, not just physically, but on every level possible. The totality of the connection was amazing. Without words I understood his feelings and it was the strangest, most intense, and completely rapturous feeling I had ever experienced and yet I knew there was more. There was an understanding between us by whatever strange powers of fate had caused this meeting, that we would not part today or ever of our own choice. In the few short moments that we stood staring at each other a bond was formed that reduced my cynicism to naught but ashes. Love at first sight was not only possible; it was mine. Whatever the risks, the obstacles, I would spend the rest of my life with this man. "I know this is going to sound strange" he began softly, rubbing my hand with his fingers, the napkin having fallen, neglected, to the floor. "No, I don't think it will," I interrupted. He smiled, the most beautiful smile. "Then you'll understand if I say something just happened to us and whatever it was scares me. But somehow I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want you to be the mother of my children, the woman I grow old with. Do you understand?" I nodded. "I do," I whispered. "Remember those words," he said smiling. "I promise you'll have to say them again." He ran his other hand over my cheek and kissed me gently on the lips. His kissed deepened from its soft gentle beginnings to something far more passionate than I had ever experienced in my life. I blushed brightly, knowing my friends and just about everyone else in the café were watching intently. If I could have seen Mina's face at that moment I knew she was crying tears of joy and that Raye was staring at us in shock. At that moment I'd never loved her more and I'd remember to thank her for this, the love of my life.