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Jail Bait

MarshAngel

Part 1

“It’s been a year and you two are still arguing!” The small black cat screeched from he spot at Mina’s side. “You’d think that after all this time you two would learn to stand each other!” Luna yelled at Serena and the grown man, whom in Serena’s presence seemed to revert to a teenager. She could almost understand however, Serena could be absolutely stubborn and frustrating, a lot of which was due to Darien’s presence.

Being around him had forced her to prove herself to be a stronger, better, and more graceful fighter than she was before. She refused to let him save her or give him anything more to tease her about, except her hair, of course, which she refused to give him the satisfaction by changing. Unfortunately having two very confident, powerful, individuals who hated each other, on the same team was very exasperating to those who had to sit and listen to the two argue about anything and everything and often in the middle of a battle.

It didn’t help that Darien had become good friends to Serena’s other friends. Even when they weren’t in battle they were usually hanging out together. Being forced to endure each other’s company on a regular basis, much to everyone’s amazement had not in anyway bonded the two. The group had learned to be either amused by, or to ignore the snide remarks that the two tossed back and forth when they all hung out together. The two were a source of entertainment, most of the time anyway.

Serena looked down at the cat from the perch she’d taken on a bunch of pillows in Raye’s bedroom, all in an attempt to stare Darien right in the face.

“Why are you getting upset now Luna?” Serena snapped at the cat. “We’ve been arguing for a year, shouldn’t you be used to it by now?”

Mina looked up from her manga and grinned at Serena’s comment while Luna sighed exasperatedly. 

“Give it up Luna! It’s a lost cause.” Mina rubbed the cats back attempting to calm her, as they all relaxed at Raye’s temple. They were all basically relaxing after another night of battling youma.

“Luna, I didn’t ask for his help! I could have handled the stupid beast on my own!” Serena yelled. Darien had picked her up like a child and pulled her out of the line of fire, getting rid of the youma they had faced on his own.

“You’re just upset because you didn’t get the opportunity to put on a show as usual! You seem to forget this is a team. There is no I in team.”

“Oh cut the crap Darien. I swear if I hear one more of your corny phrases I’ll…”

“You’ll what? Shove these stupid meatballs on your head down my throat?” he yelled squeezing one of the balls atop her blonde head. “No wait better yet, you’ll strangle me with your stringy hair right?” He tugged on one of her pigtail, knowing how much it would annoy her.

“My hair is not stringy! She growled at him, pulling her hair from his hands. “Touch my hair again and I will make sure you never walk again!” Darien merely smirked at her, which only made her angrier.

“OK guys cut it out!” Amy said coming between the two. As amusing as this was to watch, someone had to stop them before they killed each other.

“Oh come on Ames,” Lita whined. This was just getting good!” A glare from Serena and Darien sent her hiding behind Raye. Those two were scary when they were mad at each other.


Serenity sighed sadly as she looked at her daughter arguing with Darien. 

“Beryl, we have to do something, they hate each other! “

“But, it’s so much fun listening to them argue!”

“Beryl!” Serenity snapped at her sister.

“Ok, Ok, I get the point!”

“Good! We need to find away to get them together before they hate each other forever!”

“Serenity, you were always such a do-gooder. I’m sure if you let things run their course they’ll eventually fall in love and live happily ever after just like in those fairy tales you always loved!”

“You let things run their course with Metallia and your niece eventually killed you.” Serena and her friends had combined their powers to destroy the demon Metallia that had possessed her sister, releasing her finally to the peacefulness of death and eternal rest. Ok, so they weren’t really resting, no one had to know.

“My point exactly! That turned out just fine. I’m back to my old self, dead and loving it!” Beryl grinned happily twirling about like a little girl. Serenity sighed exasperatedly. 

“You were always so frustrating!”

“Alright, I’ll help you, but I can’t figure out what exactly it is you’re planning to do. We are dead you know, or have you forgotten.”

“I’ve been dead for a while, believe me, I haven’t forgotten! It’s important we get them together as soon as possible. If they continue to hate each other and then Pluto has to inform that they must marry for the sake of earth’s future, everyone will be miserable, them most of all!”

“You know, technically he doesn’t have to marry Serena, he could marry any one of the scouts,” Beryl commented, tossing her hair over her shoulder and looking over her nails casually.

“Yes but, Serena’s, my daughter and I like Darien. They’re perfect for each other.”

“They do make a cute couple don’t they? Well, this should be fun!” Beryl had a look of pure delight at the idea of matchmaking. Serenity was suddenly very scared. When Beryl got that happy, scheming look on her face, she had to worry. 

Why had she bothered to include Beryl on this? This would undoubtedly end in trouble! She sighed again, and sank her head into her hands; Beryl had been the queen of Venus’ best friend. Now she could see why. The two enjoyed meddling in other people’s love lives, something she also enjoyed although to a lesser extent. 


“Hey, dude!” a deep voice called out to Darien as he walked towards the Tokyo University Science building. He turned to face the familiar face of the tall, lean star or TU’s tennis team.

“Yeah, what’s up Dave?” 

“Nothing much. I saw you the other day with a bunch of girls. Seems you have your own harem!” He grinned lasciviously.

“They’re just my friends,” Darien defended, somewhat annoyed at Dave’s suggestion. “What you’re suggesting isn’t even legal.”

“Yeah, I know but you gotta admit, they’re kinda cute, even from a distance. Why are you hanging out with these high school chicks anyway?”

“They are girls, not chicks and they’re friends, that’s all.” Darien snapped. Dave could be so annoying sometimes. The tall dark haired Casanova was always on the look out for some ‘action’. Dave wasn’t a big believer in the possibility of platonic relationships between men and women.

“Geez! Did you wake up on the wrong side of bed or what?”

“You would too, if you had to listen to my mother go on and on about nothing! I don’t know why I had to tell her about Serena!”

“Serena? Is that a new girlfriend I haven’t met?” Dave grinned; another of his suggestive smiles that he thought made him look cute. Darien wasn’t going to be the one to tell him that he really looked like child molester.

Darien scowled at the thought of Serena being his girlfriend. “If Serena was my girlfriend, I’d either kill myself or put a contract out on my own life!”

“Wait, let me guess, you don’t like the girl!” Dave said sarcastically

“There’s an understatement if I ever heard one,” Darien muttered frowning. “That girl, is the bane of my existence!”

“So, let me get this straight, you were telling you mother about some girl you hate because?”

“I was annoyed,” Darien explained, “so I mentioned her in passing. She then wanted to know if she was one of my friends she had met before, as if she’d remember any of my friends or care, and I said no. I told her that she was Richard Chandler’s daughter; Chandler is the CEO of one of the U.S, largest electronics companies. He’s the one that used to be married to that French designer, Anika, who coincidentally is one of my mother’s friends. So now she’s insisting that I calm down and try to be friends with the girl. I think she’s attempting to push me into a possible marriage that would benefit my father and her societal connections.

“What is Chandler’s daughter doing, living in Tokyo?”

“She lives with her mother. Her mother married the current vice president of some big communications firm. She goes by her stepfather’s name most of the time, Tsukino.”

“So she’s rich!”

“And spoilt!”

“Is she cute?” Darien scowled again.

“Don’t you ever think of anything else?”

“What else is there? Dave grinned again, flashing his pearly whites once more. 

Darien had never spent much time thinking about it. If anything he tried to suppress any thoughts of Serena whom always seemed to pop into his head at inopportune moments and ruin his day. Now that the question was placed before him, he was forced to consider it.

She had been cute when he’d first seen her, long before he was even aware of the fact that he was Tuxedo Mask. Since he’d joined her team in their quest to find their princess and defeat the last few youma that occasionally appeared out of nowhere; she had grown quite a bit. Last year right after he had joined them, they had banded together and defeated Beryl and her generals. The mission had almost been ruined by their constant arguing but they had survived without too many bruises. She had been cute then and she had only grown more beautiful since.

He had to admit that recently, however, she had been looking better than ever. Her hair was cute, She was cute, and her body was nothing short of perfection, not that he cared.Ok, so she was hot, big deal! There was still, however, the matter of her personality, which grated on his nerves every single day he had to be in her presence.

“She’s ok, I guess. I try to avoid looking at her.” Darien made it appoint to understate his true thoughts as to Serena’s candidacy for girl he’d most like to see topless on a swimsuit calendar. She would make his list; he had to admit to himself embarrassingly.

“So who cares what your mother has to say,” Dave pointed out, “she’s thousands of miles away!”

“Normally I wouldn’t care, but she told my dad and now my father would like to meet her, and he’s right here in Tokyo.”

“What does your father get out of this anyway?”

“He’s seeking a deal with Chandler Inc.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“Same thing I’ve always done. I’m going to ignore him.”

“Way to go man.”

“Yeah, nothing like building familial relationships,” Darien uttered sarcastically, grinning as he and Dave continued towards the café where Andrew was on duty.”


Serena let out a low groan as she saw her group of friends sitting by the café counter with Darien, and one of Darien’s friends. Andrew was busy with his other customers and Raye was obviously flirting with Darien, which nauseated Serena to no end. Serena built up her defenses and prepared herself for battle.

“Hi guys!” She said when she’d walked over to her friends. Her friends returned her greeting with the exception of Darien who smirked and greeted her with:

“Hello, Meatball Head!”

“Darien, how did you get into college, when you can’t even seem to remember a simple name? Did your father buy you a spot?” Serena questioned, returning a fake, but nonetheless brilliant smile of her own.

“You would know plenty about that wouldn’t you, seeing as how Daddy buy’s you everything.” Darien uttered tartly. His smile having turned upside down at the mention of his father doing him any favors. 

“I seriously doubt that all the money in your father’s company could possibly buy you into any college.” 

He disliked any reference to him depending on his father for anything. He made it a point to steer his life away from anything that might involve the overbearing, controlling patriarch.

“Guy’s please not again!” Amy, the one, who always intervened, interrupted once more. “Can’t we all just get along?”

Everyone glared at Amy as she winced. “Sorry,” she squeaked, slouching down as far as she could. Even she had to admit that that was pretty corny. 

“I can’t believe you just said that!” Raye said.

“Yeah, I know,” Serena said. “We usually leave that level of cheesiness up to Darien here.”

Darien rolled his eyes and turned to Dave. 

“Dave, I have the great displeasure of introducing you to Serena Tsukino Chandler, otherwise known as Meatball Head.”

Dave stuck out his hand. Serena placed her hands in his and to her surprise he kissed the back of her hand. The girls’ eyes widened in surprise, while Andrew grinned bemusedly from behind the counter and Darien rolled his eyes. Serena was equally surprised but managed to smile.

“The pleasure is all mine then,” Dave said smoothly. “Darien neglected to tell me you were beautiful.” Darien rolled his eyes again. This qualified as one of the more nauseating displays to which he had ever been subjected.

“That’s because anything out of his mouth is pure venom,” Serena said, smiling rather sweetly at Dave.Maybe you could teach him a thing or two about civil behavior,” She said, her eyes twinkling playfully.

The girls were somewhere between giggling and shock.Was Serena flirting with this guy!?

“Dave, don’t you have to go to that meeting you were talking about?” Darien interrupted. There was only so much of this one could stand before losing their lunch.

“Oh yeah.” Dave got his books together. “It was nice meeting you, Serena,” he said, smiling at her rather seductively, ignoring the rest of the group unintentionally as he attempted to gain Serena’s favor. 

As he got up Darien leaned over and whispered in his ear. 

“Jail bait!”

Dave grinned, amused by Darien’s reminder, as he walked out. 

“What was that about?” Mina asked Serena after Dave had left.”

“What was what?” Serena asked innocently as she took Dave’s place at the counter between Darien and Mina.

“Don’t play innocent with us!” Lita teased. “You were flirting!”

“He started it,” Serena pointed out nonchalantly.

“Yes, and you flirted back!” Mina said exasperated at Serena’s casual behavior.

Serena rolled her eyes. “What else was I supposed to do?”

“You, say that as though this is an everyday occurrence,” Raye said.

It couldn’t be, no one would want to flirt with her regularly.” Darien said.“Well then, “ Darien said before Serena could even say another word, “I think I’d better get out of here before I learn more than I ever wanted to know about female behavior and a woman’s guide to flirting.” He knew well, that Serena was about to be grilled on her interest in Dave which would no doubt lead to how many guys Lita had seen that day that looked like her old boyfriend and Mina’s guide on how to ‘trap’ a boyfriend.

“Well maybe if you stuck around long enough you’d learn a thing or two. That way you could get a date instead of flirting with high school girls out of desperation,” Serena stated to Darien.

Darien whispered to himself, to calm down. ‘Like water off a ducks back.’

“Are you saying you’d like me to stay meatball head?” he asked getting as close to her as he dared and looking at her teasingly. When he was this close he had to admit, her skin was absolutely flawless and she smelled like flowers. Of course so many other girls did as well, he reminded himself.

“On second thought,” Serena said hurriedly pulling away from him, but not before recording the scent of his cologne in the back of her mind. She couldn’t recall being this close to him in a long while. It sent a nervous tingle down her spine and made her so wary. “I’m sure you have plenty of work to do, why don’t you hurry home and get to it.”

“Are you, sure?” He asked patronizingly. “I could always stay and learn whatever it is you claim to have to offer. Although I couldn’t possibly grasp what that could be, considering you don’t exactly have a boyfriend and find it unlikely that you’ll be getting one anytime soon.

“How do I put this subtly,” Serena said, plainly angry, “Leave!”

“Well then, when you put it so sweetly, how can I resist!” Darien smiled, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He turned to the other girls. “Well I’ll see you girls tomorrow, well most of you.” He turned to Serena. “With any luck, I won’t have to see you until you’ve fixed whatever’s wrong with your personality.”

He didn’t wait for her response; he just turned around and with a wave of goodbye to everyone, walked out the door.


“What happened to my little girl?” Serenity moaned woefully watching Serena and Darien argue for what had to be the hundredth time. “When did Prince Darien become so insulting? “Meatball head? I have that very same hairdo! Serenity muttered patting her hair.

“She’s learned to stand up for herself. It’s about time!”

“Yes well as entertaining as it may be for you to watch them argue it doesn’t help get them together!” Serenity snapped at Beryl.

“Oh calm down sis! They enjoy arguing. Can’t you tell? There is an amazing tension between them. He wants her! I bet if you leave them alone in the same room together, something will happen.”

“I’m trying to get them to fall in love, not into bed!”

“Same thing!” Beryl smiled. “One usually leads to other.”

“Why did I enlist your help?” Serenity muttered, completely aggravated. 

“Because you know I’m the best woman for the job,” Beryl said very satisfied with herself.